Dark Star: Confessions of a Rock Idol Read online

  “Take it easy,” I warned in my nastiest voice, standing again. “I’m covered with bruises!”

  “I found letters at your place in New York! A bunch of them. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I didn’t even think about Karen being the K person,” I said in a nasally, innocent voice. “It’s just fan mail.”

  “Yeah, fan mail that comes with pretty roses, fan mail you keep in its own separate compartment in your desk…with no other fan mail?” she barked out. “What is going on, Everett? Is this woman getting to you? Have you talked to her?”

  “Calm down,” I said, annoyed. “I’ve been getting letters from this chick for ten years.”

  “This chick, this person, this thing, is out to destroy you. Do you understand what I’m saying to you? Don’t you know by now that you can trust me on things like this?”

  I laughed. “You’re crazy. She wants me to be a Christian. That’s all. She’s not interested in me…as a man.”

  “She is what the Love card was all about.” Endora opened up the crumpled letter. “I swear to you on my mother’s grave, Everett, this woman is out to ruin your life and career. She’s out to stop everything we’ve fought for!”

  “What are you talking about?” I yelled. “What do you mean…‘Everything we’ve fought for’?”

  “Leading people to the truth about freedom on earth, about life on the Other Side.”

  “That’s your truth. Those are your beliefs.” I snatched the letter from her. “Stop pushing your agenda on me.”

  At the same time, we both looked at DeathStroke publicist Pamela McCracken, who ducked her head into the lounge for a moment but quickly realized she was in a war zone and disappeared.

  “Liza Moon can tell us more about this, Everett; I just know it. I’ve been getting these incredible feelings. They wake me up at night.”

  “You’re nuts! Liza’s dead. Karen Bayliss was writing me letters long before Liza died.”

  “Something’s going on!” she whispered in a rage. “Liza can tell us more. I know she can! We need to contact her. I want you to do a séance with me. We can reach her.”

  “No! I have no interest in talking to the dead. And I’m getting sick of your psychobabble.”

  “Don’t do that, Everett. Don’t turn on me. You do not want me against you.”

  “What is that? Some sort of threat?”

  She set her purse in the chair and began taking her coat off. “I’m warning you about this girl. If you pursue her, I will not be by your side. You’ll be on your own. And she’ll bring death to your door. You’ve been warned.”

  “I’ve never talked to her,” I said innocently.

  “Have you tried?”

  “I called, but she wasn’t there.” I took a swig of my drink. “Let’s change the subject.”

  Endora sat down, found a compact in her purse, and checked her mascara. Then she snatched a cigarette and lit it.

  “You have everything you need!” She turned and stared at me, smoke jetting out her nostrils. “Do you understand that? So many people would die to be in your shoes. People worship you—just the way you are. You don’t have to change.”

  “Does it matter to you that I’m not happy?”

  “Stop questioning so much. That’s your problem. Can’t you just enjoy yourself, enjoy your music and all that you have, like you used to?”

  I felt the warm, crumpled letter in my hand. “Things aren’t like they used to be.” I stared at the rock waterfall. “Something’s wrong. I’m…changing.”

  “But it can be like old times, Everett.” She scooted closer to me. “Where is that rock ’n’ roll god I first met in LA? You were so bold and confident back then, knew exactly what you wanted and where you were going—straight to the top.”

  “And now…rock bottom,” I said blankly. “I need help.”

  I watched the clear water shimmering over the different levels of multicolored rocks.

  Yes, I need help.

  “You’re getting tired, aren’t you, Everett?” Her voice cut to monotone. “Getting sleepy. So tired from all the hard work and travel, the worries and pressure. Drowsy, Everett. Close your eyes and rest. I’ll wake you in good time.”

  I could hear the water, trickling and gurgling over the rocks, but I was fading.

  “You’re drowsy.” She sounded like a mother speaking to a three-year-old. “You’re so tired that you’re giving yourself up to me… Sleep now, child… Simply allow me to impose my will over you.”

  It was as if I were draining away, into the water.

  “We’re doing a little test,” came the distant voice, zoning in and out. “Gain dominion over your mind…take the guitar…smash…black out…will not remember…”

  I was out of breath and flat on my back when I came to, with red-faced Ricky and Gray frantically pinning me down.

  A small crowd had gathered at the doorway to the dark lounge, each person staring in bewilderment.

  Pain in the knuckles of my hands.

  “What’s happening?” I said to the faces glaring down at me.

  “You tell us.” Gray breathed hard, raising his sweaty head toward what used to be the rock waterfall.

  Now it was a pile of broken slate mixed with stones and pieces of the black Les Paul that used to hang on the wall. The hoses that formerly powered the waterfall were mangled, one shooting straight up into the air like a drinking fountain.

  Looking to my right and left, I saw blood trickling from my knuckles, the neck of the guitar still in my clenched right hand. I, too, was out of breath.

  “Did…I do that?”

  Ricky shook his head in disgust and collapsed to the floor next to me.

  I stared up at the familiar faces, some wearing looks of shock, some of sympathy, and others of repulsion.

  “It’s a wrap,” Gray announced, still panting. “Make sure everyone knows we’re through. We’ll start tomorrow at nine.”

  “What happened…Gray?” I asked, my heart pounding.

  They let me sit up on the floor.

  “Are you trying to tell me you don’t remember what you just did?” he said, ticked.

  “I don’t. Honestly. What happened?”

  “What do you think?” Ricky said. “You demolished that waterfall.”

  “Cursing God the whole time you did it,” Gray added.

  “Was I alone?” I said, almost scared to ask.

  Gray handed me his handkerchief. “Just you and your demons, Everett.” He got to his knees, then his feet, and walked out of the room. “Just you and your demons.”

  15

  “YOUR HONOR, I’D JUST like to make it perfectly clear that my client, Everett Lester, in no way denies his former drug use or dealings with weapons,” Brian announced just before beginning his cross-examination of the Jewelry Man, Charlie LaRoche.

  “These details—about Mr. Lester’s drugs and weapons, brought about by Mr. LaRoche and others—should no longer shock any of us. They are a factual part of his past.” Boone walked in front of me as I sat as innocently as possible with my hands clasped and resting on the large wooden table in front of me.

  “However, as we continue questioning witnesses, there are several vital facts none can overlook. First, the fact that Everett is not on trial for drug usage. Second, the undeniable changes in his life slightly before, during, and after the death of Madam Endora Crystal. And third, the extraordinary occult powers this woman possessed and unleashed against Mr. Lester during their acquaintance.”

  Boone’s stealthy and opinionated introduction ticked off Frank Dooley, who arose quickly to appeal to Judge Sprockett.

  “Mr. Boone,” Judge Sprockett said, “please get on with your questions and save your summations for closing arguments.”

  “Yes, Your Honor.” Boone turned from the judge to the witness stand, not missing a beat. “Allow me to ask you, Mr. LaRoche, if you ever witnessed any strange or mystic-type behavior—any abnormal displays of psychic power—by Madam E
ndora Crystal?”

  Charlie demonstrated the kind of boredom you might see on the face of a high school kid in a physics lecture. “Endora was definitely a Gothic-type individual.” He shifted in his seat to perk himself up. “The average person may not know it just by looking at her, but she had a dark side. And yes, she obviously knew magic…or something.”

  “What about specifics? Can you tell us some of this magic you saw?”

  “One time she broke a glass that was about five feet away from her, without touching it,” Charlie explained. “She could make the hands on a clock move from across the room.”

  The crowd began to stir.

  “She would tell us the phone was about to ring and even knew who would be on the other end when it did…”

  “Did these things surprise you?” Boone asked, flowing with the tide of emotion swelling up in the room. “I mean, I’ve never seen anyone do such things and, probably, neither have most of the people in this courtroom.”

  “Sure it freaked me out. She did most of that stuff when we were stoned. I guess I really never thought that much about it afterward…until now, until I knew I’d be testifying at this trial.”

  “How did Everett Lester react to Endora’s magic or telekinetic powers?”

  “Oh, he was blown away by it, too. Like I said before, I think that’s one of the reasons he kept her on retainer so long. He knew she had these freaky…powers. I think he was scared. He didn’t want her to turn against him.”

  “Now, you told Mr. Dooley that Everett mentioned ‘getting rid’ of Endora Crystal. Isn’t it true that he was talking about firing Endora and not killing her?”

  Charlie shook his greasy head. “I honestly don’t know.”

  “Oh, come now, Mr. LaRoche. You know darn well he wasn’t talking about hurting Endora. Tell the court, what have you got against Everett Lester?”

  “Nothing! I’ve told you what he said. I don’t read minds like Endora, so I’m not positive what he meant when he said he wanted to get rid of her! All I know is, Everett didn’t like the way Endora was messing with his head.”

  “When you say ‘messing with his head,’ what do you mean by that?”

  “On more than one occasion, he told me he’d done things that he had no recollection of doing.”

  Slight laughter rolled through the room.

  “No,” Charlie said defensively, in response to the crowd. “I mean, things he wouldn’t normally do, even if he was high…weird things.”

  “Like what?”

  “Oh, geez. One night they found him sitting on the end of a diving board, staring into the water. This was at a pool on top of a building in downtown Chicago where the band was staying. He was muttering something about being able to walk on water… I don’t know.”

  “And wasn’t there a time during a recording session?”

  Charlie nodded. “He demolished some kind of waterfall display at a studio where the band was recording, near LA. He told me he wasn’t even that stoned. Just did it. No reason. When he came to, he told me it wasn’t like coming to after being stoned. It was totally different—really scared him.”

  “To what did Mr. Lester attribute his behavior in that instance?”

  “He said it wasn’t him doin’ those stunts. He thought he either got some bad drugs or was hallucinating, you know, having flashbacks. He said it felt like he wasn’t in control of himself. Heck, I didn’t know what to believe. Still don’t.”

  “Wasn’t it shortly after this that Everett Lester drew back from you?”

  “He began calling on me less and less,” Charlie said.

  “For drugs, you mean?”

  “For drugs, for friendship.” He shrugged. “Everett blew me off, big-time.”

  “Why do you think he did that?”

  “He became too good for me. I don’t know, ask him. He’s sitting right there. Put him on the stand. Maybe he’ll do a little preaching for you.”

  After I destroyed the rock waterfall at The Groove, Tina Drew gently washed my bleeding knuckles in warm, soapy water, and Gray arranged for a driver to pick me up.

  As I rode alone in the black limo that glided toward our hotel in Santa Clarita, I stared out the dark window at the bright blue sky and rocky canyons.

  People driving cars alongside the limo peered in, as usual, to see if they could catch a glimpse of whatever “star” might be sipping champagne and basking in glory behind the black glass.

  Little did they know how lonely such a life could be.

  I brought the cigarette in my fist to my mouth, took a long drag, and knocked the ashes to the floor.

  This is no good.

  I remember feeling confused. Frustrated. Alone.

  No good.

  My phone rang and I let it.

  The driver, a fidgety young man with big brown eyes and high, bushy eyebrows, kept peering into the rearview mirror.

  I dug in my bag and snatched the phone. “Yeah.”

  “Everett? It’s Mary,” my sister said in a jovial tone.

  “Hey.”

  “Can you hear me?”

  “Yeah,” I said, sounding like a zombie.

  “Are you okay?”

  “It’s always about me, isn’t it?”

  “Where are you? What’s the matter, Everett?”

  “How’s Olivia?”

  “No change. Dr. Treadwell says it’s very good that there’s still no swelling.”

  “Have you seen Jerry?”

  “Oh, Ev…yes! I’ve seen him every day.”

  That got a shot of laughter out of me. “He’s a good guy,” I managed.

  “He’s fabulous! I can’t believe what’s happening. We just want to be together all the time. We have so much in common.”

  “Sounds like a winner.”

  “What about you?” she said.

  Dead silence filled the air.

  “I’ve been getting letters from a girl in Kansas.”

  “Yeah…”

  “She’s a Christian. She’s not a fan. Hates our music. But she’s been writing to me for years. She sends roses…sent me a Bible.”

  Mary tried to say something but gasped.

  “I don’t have anything left, Mary. I’m empty.”

  “What’s her name? The girl in Kansas?”

  “Karen…Karen Bayliss. She’s from Topeka. Works with her youth group.”

  Mary fought to compose herself. “Have you met her?”

  “I’ve tried to call a couple times, but…no.”

  “You’ve got to talk to her, Everett! That’s so neat. What does she say in her letters?”

  I could tell she was crying, as if she already knew what was in the letters.

  “She’s been praying for me. Shoot. It’s been ten years.”

  Silence on Mary’s end.

  “She says there’s some religious battle goin’ on over me. Satan versus God. Do you believe that?”

  I could hear Mary covering her phone and weeping at the same time.

  “I said a prayer today, kind of. It was something Karen prayed once. Didn’t feel like God heard it, though.”

  “He heard,” she blurted. “I promise. He heard.”

  “But nothing’s changed.” I raised my voice. “I want to get wasted right now. I made a fool of myself today. I’m an idiot. I hate myself.”

  “Ev,” she said, calming herself. “Is Endora still with you? Still on retainer?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Listen to me. You’ve got to get rid of her. She’s evil. I could hear it in her voice when she called looking for you. Did she tell you she called me?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I don’t know what’s going on, Ev, but she wants to own you and suppress you. I’ve prayed about this. She’s bad news. It’s time to cut the cord.”

  “Karen says there will be people like that.”

  “Would you consider coming back here? You can stay with me and the boys, or Jerry says you can stay with him to dry out and get your fee
t on the ground. Oh, Ev, please!”

  “I’ve got obligations…on this record. Then the tour…”

  “Ev, you can’t go on like you are. You could die. Please. Come be with us. We’ll take care of you. Jerry has offered his house—”

  “I can’t answer. I don’t know!”

  “Please.”

  “It’s like a scary ride at a fair. It’s going fast and furious. I can’t get off.”

  “You can get off! Just do it, Everett. It’s your life. Jump off the ride. You can do whatever you want. Call the shots! Tell the jet to meet you at the airport and fly to Dayton. Jerry and I will meet you.”

  The sleek ride eased to a stop in the circle drive outside my lavish hotel, and a cluster of fans descended on the limo like ants on a puddle of Popsicle juice.

  “There’s a rehab clinic in Columbus,” she said. “We could take you there.”

  The crazy-eyed driver opened his door, then turned around to see if I was ready to be escorted inside. I nodded that I was.

  “Mary, listen. I’ve got to go. Let me get back to you.”

  “Ev, call Karen Bayliss. Get to know her…”

  “I will.”

  “Are you still there?”

  “Yeah, but I gotta run.”

  “Get rid of Endora Crystal! Do you hear me?”

  “I hear.” I ducked out of the limo and into the arms of the adoring fans.

  “I love you,” I heard Mary say, as I clapped the phone shut and put on my best smile.

  Not much is clear after that.

  I got high. There were dark nightclubs, floating limos, spinning purple lights, smoky rooms, spilled drinks, crowded dance floors, and women…

  Then there was Endora. Dragging me off when I could barely walk. The sleep-filled ride in her white Cadillac, the dreamlike walk up the sidewalk to her small beachfront home in Malibu.

  It must have been the middle of the night. I took the pills she gave me, then slept in a large, soft bed with cool silk sheets and a heavy down comforter.

  But I was not allowed to sleep long.

  It was still dark when she woke me and led me to a sleek recliner in a small room lit only by candles, dozens of them at all levels. She served wine and the strange, low sounds of what reminded me of funeral music filled the glowing room. The chair felt like it was filled with water. I floated. Smoke arose from four or five stands of incense around me…cinnamon, spice.